i#m the unknown stuntman
Willkommen 2007! Auf Wiedersehen intactness!
For the upcoming year, my horoscope predicts me, i will get fat. of course i was offended by this prediction and made resolutions. loads. no cigarettes, healthy diet and - achtung - wellness. i wanted to flip the new year the bird and went to a spa with my husband. sauna, aroma shower, aura fotografie and all Pipapo. Especially with annoying people. Before I had the chance to shower i got the first question: "Oh, what a nice tattoo. It is very new, isnt it?" She was not tattooed and surprised when i told her it was very old. "Really? But unsually tattoos turn blue after some time."
This woman must choose tattoo artist like beauty surgeon. Her breast enhancement was a complete flop. The scars marked the beginning of her breasts in a very prominent manner and her nipples were not placed where they should be but right next to the collarbones.
Of course i did not say anything to her. And i also did not say anything to the other annoying people. I am just too polite.
One of them was very down with the man who did the Aufguss and thought this would make him cool "Hey, tell me which Aufguss you do next. Oh, you dont know yet? What about cedarwood with a touch of almond?" After that suggestion he felt as if he had just inspired stephen b. hawking to write a new book. and did i mention how small his penis was? But this self-congratulatory asshole carried around his tiny willy full of pride and and additionally assured everyone took a glimpse at this heveanly stroke of genius by groaning very loud. ÄTZEND!
But nothing should keep me from my relaxation. Why should they anyway, if i could do that myself? In the pool i felt the urge to do some artistic moves. so i showed my husband a few flic-flacs. then it happened: during jumping i lost my bikini pants. my hands grabbed the pants instead of supporting me during the flic-flac at the ground of the pool so that i landed right on my face.
i lost my right contact lens, had a huge bump on my forehead and my nose hurt like hell. but i neither smoked nor gained weight.
glossary
Willkommen - welcome
Auf Wiedersehen - goodbye
Aufguss - putting water on the stones in the sauna
achtung - attention
mit allem Pipapo - with all the trimmings
Ätzend - awful
For the upcoming year, my horoscope predicts me, i will get fat. of course i was offended by this prediction and made resolutions. loads. no cigarettes, healthy diet and - achtung - wellness. i wanted to flip the new year the bird and went to a spa with my husband. sauna, aroma shower, aura fotografie and all Pipapo. Especially with annoying people. Before I had the chance to shower i got the first question: "Oh, what a nice tattoo. It is very new, isnt it?" She was not tattooed and surprised when i told her it was very old. "Really? But unsually tattoos turn blue after some time."
This woman must choose tattoo artist like beauty surgeon. Her breast enhancement was a complete flop. The scars marked the beginning of her breasts in a very prominent manner and her nipples were not placed where they should be but right next to the collarbones.
Of course i did not say anything to her. And i also did not say anything to the other annoying people. I am just too polite.
One of them was very down with the man who did the Aufguss and thought this would make him cool "Hey, tell me which Aufguss you do next. Oh, you dont know yet? What about cedarwood with a touch of almond?" After that suggestion he felt as if he had just inspired stephen b. hawking to write a new book. and did i mention how small his penis was? But this self-congratulatory asshole carried around his tiny willy full of pride and and additionally assured everyone took a glimpse at this heveanly stroke of genius by groaning very loud. ÄTZEND!
But nothing should keep me from my relaxation. Why should they anyway, if i could do that myself? In the pool i felt the urge to do some artistic moves. so i showed my husband a few flic-flacs. then it happened: during jumping i lost my bikini pants. my hands grabbed the pants instead of supporting me during the flic-flac at the ground of the pool so that i landed right on my face.
i lost my right contact lens, had a huge bump on my forehead and my nose hurt like hell. but i neither smoked nor gained weight.
glossary
Willkommen - welcome
Auf Wiedersehen - goodbye
Aufguss - putting water on the stones in the sauna
achtung - attention
mit allem Pipapo - with all the trimmings
Ätzend - awful
inFemme - 3. Jan, 21:22
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